My friend is seeing my husband of 20 years, whom I only separated from weeks ago

Release time：2024-06-03 17:29:35 Source：Worldly Watch news portal

A woman who separated from her husband of 20 years has revealed that her friend now wants a romantic relationship with him.

But taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the mother-of-two explained that she and her ex, who decided to split in January - still have 'a lot of love for each other' and have even slept together a few times since the break-up. 

Asking online posters for advice on how to deal with him seeing a mutual pal who they have 'both known for years', she admitted the situation was 'distressing' for her - especially as the blossoming romance is happening in their family home and she is 'caring' for him following a sports injury.

Commenters chipped in to slam the man for 'showing his true colours' - but also said she was being 'a pushover' and being taken for 'a mug'. 

 'AIBU to be upset a friend has fallen for my husband,' the post read. 

A woman revealed on Mumsnet that her friend is in a romantic relationship with her husband of 20 years who she recently separated from (stock image) 

 'Recently separated after 20 year relationship (most of those married, 2 DC). Since deciding to split in mid Jan we were living under the same roof still with our children and pondering what to do. 

'There was still a lot of love for each other, respect and confusingly, we did still have sex a few times, most recently a few weeks ago.'

The woman explained that their children were unaware of the break up until a few weeks ago - and she only started to move out of the family home earlier this month.

She continued: 'It was agreed I would have our children stay with me every other week, at the moment I'm between two homes and also caring for DH as he is incapacitated at the moment due to an injury (done when playing sport with the woman I'm about to mention!!)

'DH started meeting up with a female friend for walks early Jan onwards and they had previously done stuff together too but it's rapidly progressed to very frequently (Not a close friend of mine by any means, but somebody who we have both known for a few years, parent at same school as our DCs).

'I've found out today that she has indicated she wants a romantic relationship with my DH, and has been in my house when I haven't been there.'

She revealed she found the idea of somebody else in her 'beloved home extremely distressing' as she hasn't even moved out fully yet, and it made her uncomfortable that the woman was so quick to make a move during the 'early stages of their separation'.

She added: 'For context, the family home will remain mine after finances are sorted but my DH was really keen to stay in for the short term for "stability for himself". I'm very keen for him to be able to move on and find happiness.

Taking to the British parenting platform , the mother-of-two explained herself and her husband still have 'a lot of love for eachother' and have even slept together a few times since the break up

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts with some saying her husband is being 'hugely disrespectful'

'I think all my upset is aimed at the woman that's made the move on him when I feel there's so much unfinished business (ie my home/ me heavily supporting him whilst he's unable to cope with stuff) and it feels properly awkward that she thought it was ok to be spending all that time with him when allegedly she didn't even know about our split as we only told people outside of our family a couple of weeks ago. AIBU to be finding this so upsetting?'

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts with some saying her husband is being 'hugely disrespectful'.

'I think this is really poor form of both of them to be honest,' one wrote.

'He is taking you for a mug and clearly has had his eye on this woman for some time. 

'She is behaving inappropriately for a mother herself and must know that dating a man who hasn't even physically split yet is a no go for the sake of the children she knows!

'I'd tell him that it is hugely disrespectful to you and to your marriage and you're no longer prepared to care for him. I also would want him out.'

Another said: 'If you are splitting why are you looking after him? And why are you between 2 houses? If he's seeing someone else and you will be staying in the house, let him move out! So confusing for the kids if they are young. You are being a pushover!'

'Move back in Immediately, pack up his stuff and call him a taxi - time for him to leave,' a third added.

'He is using you. Playing you for you a fool. No more sex, looking after or facilitating him. He can go and have his a*** wiped by his bit on the side.' 

Meanwhile others were on the husbands side, with some saying she doesn't have a right to dictate who he sleeps with as they are separated

Another penned: 'He is showing his true colours and possibly trying to hurt you back. Stop helping him and more. Yes the woman likes him but he has spent time with her. I think it's poor on her part as she knows you. But he is the bigger issue and I would be more annoyed with him. Time to separate properly.'

Meanwhile others were on the husband's side, with some saying she doesn't have a right to dictate who he sleeps with as they are separated. 

One wrote: 'You ended it with him. You don't have any right to be annoyed about who is spending time/having sex with.

'If you agreed to move out and let him stay you also don't get to dictate who he has/what he does, at the house.

'Having sex with him after you ended it was wrong and sending mixed messages. Same with helping him, whilst it makes you feel better it is confusing things.

'I would take legal advice before I left the house, I think he'll be staying far longer than you expect.'

Another wrote: 'I don't think it would be fair of you to try to scupper your ex's new relationship when you don't want him. Finishing with him but sleeping with him then saying (here) you didn't enjoy it/heat of the moment but it hasn't changed the break up is cruel.

'What you need to sort out with him is the living/dating arrangements that don't upset the kids.'

Someone else said: 'You wanted to split yet have sex and help him. You get no say in how you chooses to live now really. What happens of she stays over once you have fully moved out? He is bound to move on.. Are you sure you fully can let go?'

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